I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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