Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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