I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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