I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She announced her abortion via fbk
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
