I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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