Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and she was petting her beer can
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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