I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
