No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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