i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you win again, gameday.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
