You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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