O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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