You don't have asthma, your pregnant
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
