I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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