Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
