If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
