So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize