two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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