proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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