party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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