She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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