she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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