Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
