Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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