Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
