i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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