SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize