If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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