College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
