Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
