please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
