shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
