So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
