I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize