Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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