yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
