32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
