You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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