so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
