So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Terrible idea I love it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
