The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
