So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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