Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
