So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
