remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Umm I'm too high to move.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
