It's Friday. Sex?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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