I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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