I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
