I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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