Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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