you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
