Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
