He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
