Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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