dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
there was a trapeze. enough said
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
