I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
