You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
