How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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