bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
