white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
