why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Im part way to drunk.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
