Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
