wrigley field is MILF paradise
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
