i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My pussy is not your playground.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
