Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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