LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
