Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
