i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
handjob tips. give me some.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
