remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
