508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
